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Wedding Crashers the Movie
Having a little bit of fun with this one, but in actuality, there really are wedding crashers, people who decide to act as if they’re guests of the wedding party but in actuality don’t know either the bride or the groom, and probably not anyone else at the wedding, including the reception. So, though this is tongue in cheek, it’s also fairly truthful, and possibly highlights some signs to look for.
1. They sit by themselves in the middle of the pews on one side or the other. This keeps them away from family and ushers and, if there’s a lot of people, makes them more inconspicuous if there are a lot of people at the wedding.
2. They’re dressed very blandly. This is because they weren’t sure whose wedding they were going to sneak into and didn’t want to stand out.
3. When the wedding is over, they’re the first ones out after the wedding party, but they go out a different way than everyone else.
4. You don’t see them again until the reception. Crashers don’t want to mingle with everyone else outside the church because that’s too early for them to get into conversation that might out them. A true crasher needs to get into the reception. Therefore, they’re sitting in the car, waiting to follow everyone else to where the reception is taking place.
5. Upon arriving at the reception, they wait in the car until more people show up. Crashers need to blend, and no blending takes place without more bodies to hide in.
Vince Vaughn & Owen Wilson as Wedding Crashers
6. When they finally do come inside, they head directly for the snack area without looking at or talking to anyone else. This is the bonanza, the real reason why they came. Well, at least one of the real reasons they came, to eat.
7. They go to the bar to see if the drinks are free. This is the other reason they came. If it’s an open car the skies the limit. But they need to eat first because they want to try to space things out as long as possible, so they need something in their stomachs to help absorb the early alcohol.
8. They sit at a table about as far away from the wedding party as they can get. This is the smartest strategy because that’s usually where the fringe friends and co-workers sit. At this point, one can easily come up with a story for how they know either the bride or groom. They’re going to base whatever they say off what others at the table say first.
9. After the main meal, they start hitting on almost anyone. It doesn’t matter if the crasher is male or female, it’s time for some fun. The crasher has already gotten away with everything else and is fed and lubricated. At this juncture, they really feel like they’re part of the family and friends contingent.
10. They make a grand exit immediately after the cake. They’ll be bold enough to seek out the bride and groom to thank them for the good time, and smart enough to drop the name of one of the people they met at the reception. This is to plant the seed in the minds of the couple to ask the name that was dropped later on who that person was. After all, what’s the point of being a crasher if no one knows they were crashed?
